STEPS TO DEVELOPING YOUR CHILD’S SELF ESTEEM

Self-esteem is how much people value themselves and how important they believe they are. It can also to referred as

            self-worth. 

                                 

 

There are two types of self-esteem namely;   positive self-esteem and negative self-esteem. 

1) Positive Self Esteem: Positive self-esteem is when people feel good about themselves, believing in their self-worth, having confidence in themselves.

 

Kids with positive self-esteem feel confident and capable. They value themselves and their abilities. They are proud of the things they can do and want to try their best. 

When kids are confident and secure about who they are, they are more likely to have a growth mindset.That means they can motivate themselves to take on new challenges and cope with and learn from mistakes. 

They are also more likely to stand up for themselves and ask for help when they need it, they feel respected,  they are resilient and feel proud of themselves even when they make a mistake. 

They have a sense of control over activities and events in their life, act independently, take responsibility for their actions, are comfortable and secure in forming relationships and have the courage to make good decisions, even in the face of peer pressure.

                                   

                       

 

2) Negative Self Esteem : Kids with negative self-esteem feel easily frustrated, angry, anxious, always sad, lose interest in learning.

They have a hard time making and keeping friends, they are more  likely to be teased or bullied so they become withdrawn or give in to peer pressure, they always comparing tehmselves with their peers in a negative way.

They develop self-defeating ways to deal with challenges, like quitting, avoidance, silliness, and denial. 

They  also have  harder time standing up for themselves. In other words, they have trouble developing strong self-advocacy.

                                 

 

 

HOW PARENTS CAN HELP THEIR CHILDREN DEVELOP POSITIVE SELF- ESTEM

They following are things parents can do to help kids feel good about themselves: 

 1) Help your child learn to do things: At every age, there are new things for kids to learn. Even during babyhood, learning to hold a cup or take first steps sparks a sense of mastery and delight.

                                        

 

 As your child grows, things like learning to dress, read, or ride a bike are chances for self-esteem to grow.

2) Teach your kids how to do things by simple demostrating: Children learn faster by observation. Ensure to show them example and then let them do what they can, even if they make mistakes. Be sure your child gets a chance to learn, try, and feel proud. Don't make new challenges too easy or too hard.

 

 3) Praise your child wisely: Of course, it is good to praise kids, your praise is a way to show that you are proud of them. But some ways of praising kids can actually backfire. 

   Children are often able to see through flattery or excessive praise but, they usually appreciate an adult's genuine concern and interest.

   Praise that doesn't feel earned doesn't ring true. For example, telling a child  that he/she performed well  when he knows he/she didn't, feels hollow and fake. Instead, offer most of your praise for effort, progress, and attitude. For example: "You are working hard," "You are getting better and better," or, "I'm proud of you".

 With this kind of praise, kids put effort into things, work toward goals, and try. When kids do that, they're more likely to succeed.

 

4) Be a good role model :When you put effort into everyday tasks (like raking the leaves, making a meal, cleaning up the dishes, or washing the car), you are setting a good example. 

Your child learns to put effort into doing homework, cleaning up toys, or making the bed. Modeling the right attitude counts too. 

When you do tasks cheerfully (or at least without grumbling or complaining), avoid rushing through chores and take pride in a job well done, you teach your child to do the same. 

5) Ban harsh criticism:The messages kids hear about themselves from others easily translate into how they feel about themselves. Harsh words like "you are lazy" are harmful not motivating. 

 When kids hear negative messages about themselves, it harms their self-esteem. Correct kids with patience. Focus on what you want them to do next time. When needed, show them how.

 

                                        

 

6) Focus on strengths: Pay attention to what your child does well and enjoys. Make sure your child has chances to develop these strengths. Focus more on strengths than weaknesses if you want to help kids feel good about themselves. This improves behavior too.

7) Let kids help and give: Self-esteem grows when kids get to see that what they do matters to others. Kids can help out at home, do a service project at school, or do a favor for a sibling. Helping and kind acts build self-esteem and other good feelings.

   8) Reassure your child that you accept him or her even when others do not:  A child's self-esteem wavers from situation to situation and sometimes moment to moment, depending upon the interaction. A child's sense of self-worth deepens when adults help him or her understand that life has its ups and downs.

  9) Involve your child in chores around the house that stretches his or her abilities: Children gain a sense of accomplishment when they are offered real challenges rather than those that are merely frivolous or fun. It also help them develop their inert abilities and talents.

10) Treat your child with respect: Ask his or her views and opinions, consider them seriously, and give meaningful and realistic feedback. Children's self-esteem grows when they are respected by adults who are important to them.

 

11) Think ahead about how to discipline. A positive approach to discipline is linked to better self-esteem in children. Don't use words that harm your child. Never use physical punishment, instead, nurture your child even when you are disciplining him or her.

Encourage your child's sense of responsibility and focus on your child's behavior, not the child. For instance, if your child did something wrong,  explain to him or her that the behavior  is not acceptable.

Encourage him or her to talk with you about any concerns so that you can help  come up with better ways to deal with issues he/she faces.  

 12) Support your child during his or her failures:  After giving your child time to reflect on a disappointment or problem, help him or her to understand the situation. 

For example, if your child lies to you, explain why this is not appropriate behaviour. Often, children lie when they have done something wrong so that they don't disappoint their parents. 

Let your child know that you love him or her, even if you feel let down. Emphasize that it's important to tell the truth in your family.

13) Encourage communication. Open up dialogue with your child by asking questions in an indirect way. For example, ask open-ended questions such as, "Tell me more about the math test" or "It sounds like it was a busy day." 

Using these types of techniques helps to you to talk with children in a natural way, so you quiz your child less with standard questions, such as "What did you do at school today?" Actively listen to what your child says. Sometimes you don't need to say anything.

 

Your comments or recommendations will be highly appreciated as 'no man is an island of knowledge' . Looking forward to hearing from you.